is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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