We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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