Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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