Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
