mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
