The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
