Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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