Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
