she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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