My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
