So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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