You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
