I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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