I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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