i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
