I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize