So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize