You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
