Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Plan B is the new Plan A
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
