i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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