is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
