She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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