carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
