you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
