Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
sick fucks of a feather flock together
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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