so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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