Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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