So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
