? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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