Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
