Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
