can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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