Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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