How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
