I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
