On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
