Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I party with great urgency now.
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