I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize