2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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