I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
