you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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