My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have fence marks all over my body
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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