his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize