looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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