apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
