JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize