My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
