It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
