laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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