do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
