it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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