No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
