I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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