Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
