Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
