Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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