wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
