I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Send help, water and tortillas.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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