Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
