i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
