I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
